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There are good things happening here.  Scratch that.  Great things.  Big things.  Hard things.  Unexpected things.  Death and life.  Together.  And I love it.  Because I love moving forward.  I love beginnings and I love endings.

There were things said which should have been said.  There was a great deliverance of revelation to follow.  And I’m not sorry.  These days, my spine has proven its development.  It is no longer the spine which bends and flows to the direction of others.  It is a spine which holds its own.  I am no longer the broken spine being tossed by waves and crushed against these rocks, these unyielding and un-evolving people.  I am now the rock by which others bend against.  And I’m not sorry.  I’m only sad it took me so long to learn the beauty of throwing punches.  And I am angry at myself for spending so much time caring about the things I said and intricately stringing sentences, so as not to offend others.  Especially when they are not so careful with me.  I’m back in this game.  And baby, I’ve got skills.

So now, there is this place where I am found.  I am everywhere.  I am in my book.  I am in that music [Jack Johnson’s new one, if you might be wondering].  And I am in that character and in that lesson.  I am by that water.  I am in that tree.  I am unrestrained by everything except all the other ways in which I secretly fear failure.

I am here, totally and abandond-ly, into this coffee.

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And when it comes to relationships, I have learned that we elevate our gifts and skills above grace.  We say that there are a million things to do to make our relationships better.  And it’s true.  But it’s not.  Because learning takes two.

All those things I gained had became flaming origami cranes, red in the sunlight, tossed out the 2nd story window and scattered on the golden ground.  And I left them there.  Because I am not there, yet.  I am well on my way and well under time.  This race is mine.DSCN3520

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