Sometimes I wonder if people I have known are neglectful in maintaining relationship with me because of who I am. I wonder if I am too much for them or if I am too little. Maybe they see me as ‘off-base’ or ‘out-there’. I wouldn’t know, because I am not confronted on either issue. This grieves me.
In the past year, I have found myself in the company of a few very sweet and lovely ladies whose hearts are too big in comparison to mine. I see their love for one another and I see my love for others and I wonder where I went wrong. Where I could have ever contained the idea that love cannot be learned from those who are not [yet] deeply in love with Christ.
I have even called this ‘dangerous ground’.
Maybe it is. Yet I have to assume that this God who I have learned is faithful to me whether it is obvious or not, did not send me here, to this very place, without great and specified purpose. Therefore, it is His mercy towards me that I am learning from these ones. I have asked Him why I could not have learned these same lessons from Christian community. But I am realizing that even Christian community has its deep rooted trap-doors of complications. So where ever it is that I am, that is where I should bloom.
I guess what I am trying to say, is this:
It grieves me that Christian community does not use its arms to reach beyond their walls. It grieves me that Christian community does not understand their influence in being blessings to the lost and broken both in their community and out.
So, for everyone’s sake, I would like to say what is so heavily weighing on my heart these days. All of humanity knows sin. Many perceive sin to be a trivial matter. That it is not worth their time or consideration to discuss or repent of–these are the lost. The rest perceive sin as something very great and tragic and to be feared and avoided like a plague. These people might be found in the place we dearly know as ‘church’.
I have come to believe with all of my heart that sin was never meant to be held in either esteem. It was never meant to be under-esteemed or over-esteemed. It was meant to be kept in its place.
Unlike Jesus, sin is still nailed to the cross.